This has never been easy for me...so today I practiced two things...allowing two people that I know to help me....then stepping aside and not telling them how to do it .....well....I have never felt so contorted...actually physically body contorted as I walked up the stairs to the house and left the situation they were handling for me....
I was about to bust and it was an absolutely horrible feeling for me...I even expressed in the car that they could handle this and I would just let them do it. One of those people knows me very well and the other not as well...so..I repeated to him okay...I am trusting that you two will just handle this and went back up the stairs... of course I looked out the window a couple of times and fretted inside and made a lemon water and was then and am now about to have an emotion or two because this was difficult...
Let me tell you why....well...I asked these two adult men to help me....I got the time and place of the pick up and asked about the supplies needed and no one really gave me straight answers so again I let it go....and trusted or tried to that this would be fine and not contort me the way it had...ahhhhhhhh
I did not know if the tools or supplies were ready...no these are 2 guys okay....I'm the girl....if they had said to me...get this or that I would have had it ready and there...but I asked and one did not respond and the other did ask on the phone when were were going to pick him up and I said yes bring the tools because the other guy asked me if I had pliers and I said no.....(like I carry them with me) well in fact I do...on my swiss army knife...(that knife has saved me many times)...
Okay I stay upstairs as difficult as it is and try to let go...mind you I am still contorted in many physical ways and an emotional outburst is welling because this is extremely difficult for me....and then...I hear one car leave......and then I hear the other car leave....and then.....
I get a call on the cell asking where the first car is and please get back to him on where the first car went...(okay I wanted to ask....but did not...did you communicate to the first car before he left but I did not....I did only what I was asked to do...call the first car and ...well..yes...I called the first car 4 times and left messages and before I could get back to the second car the first car called and left me a message that I was to call him back and give him an answer of where the first car was...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....only the people that know me well could ever imagine what was happening to me at this point.....I did try to call the second car back and no one answered....I put the cell phone down and just thought...I am done....I let go....I will not answer it again...
and....here I am....trying to resolve this for myself and LEARN TO LET GO OF THE CONTROL...
FOR ME...there would have been more preparation before hand...maps made and clear directions and communication of who what where when .... but that is me....
I just got a call from the first car...(the one who knows me well)...he knew it was hard for me...and I love him for that.......he just wanted to say he got in touch with the second car and all was well...and they were on their way...
I was about to bust and it was an absolutely horrible feeling for me...I even expressed in the car that they could handle this and I would just let them do it. One of those people knows me very well and the other not as well...so..I repeated to him okay...I am trusting that you two will just handle this and went back up the stairs... of course I looked out the window a couple of times and fretted inside and made a lemon water and was then and am now about to have an emotion or two because this was difficult...
Let me tell you why....well...I asked these two adult men to help me....I got the time and place of the pick up and asked about the supplies needed and no one really gave me straight answers so again I let it go....and trusted or tried to that this would be fine and not contort me the way it had...ahhhhhhhh
I did not know if the tools or supplies were ready...no these are 2 guys okay....I'm the girl....if they had said to me...get this or that I would have had it ready and there...but I asked and one did not respond and the other did ask on the phone when were were going to pick him up and I said yes bring the tools because the other guy asked me if I had pliers and I said no.....(like I carry them with me) well in fact I do...on my swiss army knife...(that knife has saved me many times)...
Okay I stay upstairs as difficult as it is and try to let go...mind you I am still contorted in many physical ways and an emotional outburst is welling because this is extremely difficult for me....and then...I hear one car leave......and then I hear the other car leave....and then.....
I get a call on the cell asking where the first car is and please get back to him on where the first car went...(okay I wanted to ask....but did not...did you communicate to the first car before he left but I did not....I did only what I was asked to do...call the first car and ...well..yes...I called the first car 4 times and left messages and before I could get back to the second car the first car called and left me a message that I was to call him back and give him an answer of where the first car was...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....only the people that know me well could ever imagine what was happening to me at this point.....I did try to call the second car back and no one answered....I put the cell phone down and just thought...I am done....I let go....I will not answer it again...
and....here I am....trying to resolve this for myself and LEARN TO LET GO OF THE CONTROL...
FOR ME...there would have been more preparation before hand...maps made and clear directions and communication of who what where when .... but that is me....
I just got a call from the first car...(the one who knows me well)...he knew it was hard for me...and I love him for that.......he just wanted to say he got in touch with the second car and all was well...and they were on their way...
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