Yes, I was supposed to be posting to the blog…my fantasy or dream of being a writer ( because I love to read), or maybe thinking I could influence someone with the wisdoms I had learned over the years…no…therapy….for my soul …to find a voice to have a voice to just vent because I isolate myself …to speak my truth so that I may read it then make sure I walk it….
To leave a legacy of babble for my children and grand children, family and friends so they know how I feel and/or felt about something in a particular moment….those precious moments….of time shared ..those unspoken thoughts…that reside in the corners of my mind….
And so…where to begin…it is 2/18/2008 at about 11:59 pm in Hawaii on Wahinekoa Street. I can still hear some traffic in the distance….air planes bringing visitors to "paradise" fast becoming a "paradise lost" for those of us who remember the "good old days".
Let the verbiage begin…..
I'll begin with my most recent stint of a free weekend on eharm…what fun…answering questions and sending to and fro to dance the dance of finding our life partner, the new age way…not what I had ever envisioned for myself but then again…I never envisioned myself single for so long either…. I had thought some time ago when I joined eharm that this would be a great venue for me so that I could be clear and honest about the who, what, where, why and how of me and that might be somewhat true …however what I have found is that not everyone is fostering that ideal….and our bantering is nothing more that our intro into a totally different dance of courtship that sometimes ends rather abruptly with the click of a mouse….I "closed a match" because someone answered that having a male friend when in a relationship meant "trouble"…click…close match…."other"I believe was the reason….I have always had men friends in my life…I could call them my "band of brothers" and yes I was intimate with some and we all have moved on in our lives to different situations and for some reason remained in contact and our relationships have grown into friendships….do I want to give them up…NO….do I want a man I meet to give up his female friends…NO. I put the funkiest picture in…and everyone wants a picture…I have seen none of the correspondents of this past weekend….characters we all are…wanting intelligent, in shape, kind, caring, funny, clean…(now…that one gets me…for the most part I am a clean person…but…I also like dirt…and I like to get dirty and sweat and feel the physicalness of whatever it is that makes me that way….so is that acceptable and there are times when I like my natural odor and would that be acceptable for a short period of time…I do get nervous when I see that requirement in the "must have's"….I had over 200 matches…now…if the weekend has been longer I could have had 200 eharm dates on some level….wow….what a thought….gave a couple of men my "personal email" so who knows…..maybe there will be a match…one gent might have gotten it right…"does any one really get you"….although I answered I keep wondering….
To leave a legacy of babble for my children and grand children, family and friends so they know how I feel and/or felt about something in a particular moment….those precious moments….of time shared ..those unspoken thoughts…that reside in the corners of my mind….
And so…where to begin…it is 2/18/2008 at about 11:59 pm in Hawaii on Wahinekoa Street. I can still hear some traffic in the distance….air planes bringing visitors to "paradise" fast becoming a "paradise lost" for those of us who remember the "good old days".
Let the verbiage begin…..
I'll begin with my most recent stint of a free weekend on eharm…what fun…answering questions and sending to and fro to dance the dance of finding our life partner, the new age way…not what I had ever envisioned for myself but then again…I never envisioned myself single for so long either…. I had thought some time ago when I joined eharm that this would be a great venue for me so that I could be clear and honest about the who, what, where, why and how of me and that might be somewhat true …however what I have found is that not everyone is fostering that ideal….and our bantering is nothing more that our intro into a totally different dance of courtship that sometimes ends rather abruptly with the click of a mouse….I "closed a match" because someone answered that having a male friend when in a relationship meant "trouble"…click…close match…."other"I believe was the reason….I have always had men friends in my life…I could call them my "band of brothers" and yes I was intimate with some and we all have moved on in our lives to different situations and for some reason remained in contact and our relationships have grown into friendships….do I want to give them up…NO….do I want a man I meet to give up his female friends…NO. I put the funkiest picture in…and everyone wants a picture…I have seen none of the correspondents of this past weekend….characters we all are…wanting intelligent, in shape, kind, caring, funny, clean…(now…that one gets me…for the most part I am a clean person…but…I also like dirt…and I like to get dirty and sweat and feel the physicalness of whatever it is that makes me that way….so is that acceptable and there are times when I like my natural odor and would that be acceptable for a short period of time…I do get nervous when I see that requirement in the "must have's"….I had over 200 matches…now…if the weekend has been longer I could have had 200 eharm dates on some level….wow….what a thought….gave a couple of men my "personal email" so who knows…..maybe there will be a match…one gent might have gotten it right…"does any one really get you"….although I answered I keep wondering….
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